On September 25, 2018 at 10:15 PM, I left the most selfish person I have ever met.

I remember walking through the threshold of the door that Tuesday night with my black and green packed bag, my kitty, Vision, my sister near my side and 3 police officers escorting me out.

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”Once I walk through that door, it’s over. There is no turning back.”

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It was incredibly symbolic. I soaked every sensation in as I felt my body loosen while I looked at the tile from the entryway, to the metal doorsill, to the blue colored patio and stepped over it.

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“It’s finished. I’m actually leaving and I’m never coming back.”

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I wanted to be certain. I didn’t want be a woman who said they were leaving and then come running back after a few days or a few months later because she wasn’t certain of her decision to leave. I HAD to be. 100%. The thought of even returning terrified me. I didn’t want to know what I’d be walking back into due to the complete humiliation and abandonment I put him through. I knew better. This had to be an intentional, deliberate and no turning back commitment.

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Once the officers walked me to my car, watched me start up my vehicle and drive away, I bawled.

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Following behind Micaela as we drove down mountain park where I had lived for 5 years, I immediately called my Dad and put him on speaker...

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“Dad...I did it, I left Taylor.”

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Through mournful sobs, I expressed to him that I felt terrible. I felt terrible because Taylor had no idea it was coming. It hit him like a freight train. And, he was alone. Alone to face it. I had compassion for him. Like I always had, which was my weak point.

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You see, I’m a highly empathic individual. I always have been. And, Taylor took the most beautiful qualities of me; my compassion, empathy and tenderness, and used them as a weapon against me to manipulate and control me. That’s evil. Pure evil. One of the most evil things you could do to another human being is use their innate beauty to destroy them.

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Through all the suffering I had experience from him, I still had immense compassion. I cried tears FOR Taylor that night. Not because I was afraid of the decision I made; fearful that I made the wrong choice—oh no. I knew that was the best decision I had ever made, walking straight through that front door and knowing I would never look back.

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I was worried about Taylor. Worried about his heart, worried about his emotional stability and the complete shock that his wife left. I felt for him. And, that night, I cried tears for his suffering, because I knew that he’d come to the full realization of the honest reality that I was no longer there. No longer supporting him, encouraging him, loving him and taking care of him. He didn’t have me to turn to anymore. That, broke my heart because I loved him as a person. I was no longer in love with him as he had killed that 3 years prior. And I didn’t like him as a person—not one bit. I was repulsed by him. But, I cared. I cared for him, as I care for all those who are in my life. And, he was the most significant person in my life for our 5 years of marriage.

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The rest of the night consisted of nonstop unanswered phone calls and insensitive text messages from him. He just wouldn’t stop. I still couldn’t get away.

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But, it also consisted of sitting on the couch with Micaela, talking till 4 AM, freely laughing hysterically and feeling the complete freedom and peace. The first time I actually felt happy and no longer had that anxiety in my chest and stomach which prevented me from eating. I could finally rest. I was finally free. Finally able to relax and breathe.

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It’s been one full year and I have not missed Taylor one bit. And I don’t think I ever will. It remains the best decision of my entire life. So...my friends, here’s to another day to celebrate! September 25th... a day of celebration.

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My first day of freedom! 🎉🥳💕

With Love,

Chelsea Brielle💕